Kids have money personalities too
You know I love money personalities; I use them to help my clients understand why they behave the way they do with money. They don’t define us for life, and they can change over time. Money personalities give us some insight into how we behave with money, and why we sometimes struggle with money with those nearest and dearest to us.
Money personalities aren’t just about us. If you’re in a relationship your partner has their own personality going on. Once you have children, they will develop their own money personality over time.
We all know we don’t fit perfectly into just one personality style, and it’s the same with our money personality. Generally, we are a blend of two styles, a dominant, how we usually act, and a secondary, that’s the ‘little you’ who sits on your shoulder and likes to give advice. If we are super stressed, we can be a mix of all of them!
So, when it comes to dealing with children and money, there could be six different personalities in the mix, yours, your partner’s and your child’s (primary & secondary for each).
Don’t assume that your children are going to be a mini you. Many parents who have two or more children say they all have different money personalities, just as they can with every other character trait.
I only have one child, a daughter, and she was a mini me when it came to money. We were both spenders. I say were, as it’s quite a few years since she lived at home. I know that we are both in different phases of life now and our money personalities have evolved; she has a partner and a mortgage, and I’m a little more serious about my retirement plan. Money maturity has kicked in for both of us.
However, I have fond memories of when she was a teenager, and we would go shopping together. Boy we knew how to shop; we had great fun together. We planned the day with military precision. What did we want to purchase? Where were we going to shop? Where would we break for lunch to make the purchasing decisions? And then the final phase, the actual buying process, then we would wrap it all up with a meal out together.
As you can see from my example it is much easier to understand the behaviours of a mini you, but if your child is your polar opposite, you can be in for some fun and games.
Here are a few tips to help you recognise the money personality of your child. Remember that you aren’t likely to be able to identify a particular behaviour until your child has a grasp of numbers, so maybe from about 5 -7 years old.
Hoarder Child
Does your child love to collect things? Shells from the beach, bottle tops, or anything else that takes their fancy. They are good at delaying gratification. You can see this trait coming out at Christmas time. They will diligently only eat a chocolate a day from their advent calendar and save the Christmas chocolate well into the New Year. The Hoarder child loves to save and may get anxious or even a little grumpy when you suggest they spend some money.
They love to plan ahead, even if it is for the family holiday, they will be packed and ready well in advance. They will ask lots of questions so they can be totally prepared for what is ahead of them. But if things don’t go according to plan, they can seem a bit indecisive because they hadn’t planned and aren’t prepared for a different outcome.
These children can also be seen as selfish. They don’t like to share and are reluctant to spend money on going out with friends.
They need encouragement to spend, so they don’t become too focused on saving and not enjoying themselves and their friendships.
Spender Child
No matter where you are, the supermarket, your local café, these children are constantly asking for something! Whether it is your money or theirs, they don’t care. At this age, it doesn’t really matter how much it costs either, it is all about getting something.
They can’t delay gratification; they want it now and will probably burn through their pocket money quickly. They can also suffer from buyer’s remorse after they have splurged as they don’t have the money for the next shiny thing. These children are very generous with their friends and are often happy to help you pay for the outing.
When they get an after school or holiday job, at the end of the holiday they probably won’t have any money left.
They are relentless and persistent at asking for something all the time. Not only about spending but anything. “Can I have a biscuit?” No. “Can I have a muesli bar?” No. “Can I have an ice cream?” No. As a parent, how many rounds of this can you handle before you cave?
These children need encouragement to save, but it needs to be fun and the goal needs to be achievable fairly quickly.
Amasser Child.
Children who are amassers also have a lot of the traits of spender children, with a few subtle differences which you may not spot until they are a little older.
Amasser children are fearless and love projects; they have big ideas. Anything from camping expeditions in the back garden to trading toys. They aren’t as attached to ‘stuff’, so are happy to trade what they have for something else. These will be the ones setting up businesses at a young age, the budding entrepreneurs of the future.
They make decisions easily and know what they want. This can also make them a little careless as they don’t necessarily have the skills at a young age to think through consequences, so trips to the doctor for stitches when plans don’t quite work out are to be expected.
While its great to have a budding entrepreneur in the family, understanding consequences and not bailing them out all the time will help this child learn and think through their projects a little more clearly as they get older.
Avoider child
They are happy to go with the flow. Relationships are more important to them, than money. If you tell your avoider child not to buy that, they will acquiesce and not purchase it.
They aren’t motivated by money or ‘stuff’. So, punishments like withholding pocket money or restricting screen time won’t worry them, whereas cancelling a playdate with a friend will upset them.
They don’t really think about money, so this personality can be a little hard to spot in a child as they all start out this way until they get a clearer understanding of maths and how that relates to spending and saving money.
You can try setting up systems for them to manage their money, but they just won’t stick to them which can make them seem a bit flaky, they just don’t stick to anything. Relationships are paramount and will divert their attention from anything else they should be doing.
For these children, it is all about the here and now. They are trusting and will do anything for a friend.
These children need gentle guidance to understand money in a non-threatening way, otherwise later in life, they may well be taken advantage of.
Why is it important to get a good understanding of our child’s money personality? Each style will need different support and education when it comes to money. A good way to do that is by pocket money.
I’m going to stop now, as pocket money is a whole different topic. I just want to leave you with this question.
How do you raise financially healthy children? I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments.