Men, Women and Money – Embracing the Difference

It’s long been held that men and women often see the world differently, and this extends to perspectives on money.

And while these distinctions might add a layer of complexity to relationships, understanding them can also pave the way to deeper harmony.

Here’s a simplified rundown of how men and women typically handle finances, keeping in mind these are broad strokes and individual variations abound. These insights are taken from my work as a financial consultant and through working with my mentor David Krueger, author of The Secret Language of Money.

Men often see money as a symbol of power and identity, while women tend to view it as a source of security and autonomy. This can play out in various ways: Men might aim to increase their wealth aggressively, whereas women could prioritise safeguarding their assets.

It’s not just about risk aversion — women generally achieve higher returns because they trade less frequently.

Investment strategies

When it comes to investment strategies, men often focus on long-term growth, like bulking up retirement savings. Women, on the other hand, might concentrate on immediate financial health, seeking out bargains or cutting down debt.

Emotionally, the genders react differently to financial losses. Women might take losses personally, whereas men tend to point fingers at external factors like the market or their broker. And while men might stress over inaction, women are more concerned about the risk of loss itself.

Decision-making in households also reflects these differences. Men earning more might feel entitled to lead financial decisions, whereas women in the same position are likely to seek a more democratic approach.

Much of it is believed to be socio-cultural … think of the traditional roles of men as hunters and women as gatherers and nurturers. Yet, some intriguing research, like that from psychologist and physician Leonard Sax, suggests these distinctions might be hardwired from birth.

For instance, studies show that from day one, boys tend to be drawn to movement, while girls may be more responsive to faces and colours. However, it’s important to note that like all research, Sax’s findings have been challenged over time, with many experts emphasising the significant influence of socio-cultural factors on gender differences.

‘Honey, can we talk?’

And yes, it seems we’re even built to hear differently. Girls’ hearing is more sensitive than boys, which might explain why, later in life, men genuinely might not hear “honey, can we talk?” as clearly as women do!

While discussing money can be more daunting than discussing other intimate aspects of life (yes, even sex) it’s crucial for the health of your relationship. After all, a staggering one in four couples deal with secret spending or financial concealment.

Understanding these gender nuances can be the first step towards open and effective communication about money with your partner. It might not always be easy, but it’s essential for navigating the financial minefield together. Remember, when it comes to managing money in a relationship, it’s less about who’s right or wrong and more about finding balance and understanding.