Do you like money?

Before all the negative comments start to fly about money not being the be-all and end-all in life (which I happen to agree with by the way), there is a serious reason for me asking this question.

So, let’s start again. Do you like money? It sounds strange at first, and depending on our upbringing, it could be thought of as a nonsense question, or a threatening question.  It is, however, the initial step in cultivating a healthy relationship with money.

You need to genuinely enjoy it, as opposed to hating it, or finding it challenging. Think about it this way: building a relationship with money is very much like building a relationship with another person. It’s tough to connect and develop a strong bond with someone you don’t like, right? So why would it be any different when it comes to your finances?

Now, I’m not suggesting that you should ‘like’ money in the same way that Scrooge McDuck does – hoarding it in a vault, diving into it like a swimming pool, and keeping it locked away to count and recount without ever using it. That’s not what we’re aiming for. What I mean is developing a healthy respect for money, appreciating what it can do for you, and understanding how it can enhance your life in meaningful ways.

You might be thinking, “Well, of course I like money. Doesn’t everyone?” Surprisingly, the answer is no. Not everyone has a positive attitude toward money, and this can hinder their financial success and stability in the long run.

Let’s take a moment to reflect. Have you ever caught yourself thinking any of these thoughts?

1. Money is the root of all evil.

2. People will think I’m shallow and greedy if I desire money too much.

3. Money can’t buy happiness.

4. It’s better that I don’t have much money – I’m not good at managing it anyway.

These are just a few examples of negative beliefs about money. There are plenty more out there. If you find that you have these kinds of thoughts, you might also notice that you struggle to hold onto money when you get it. You might never ask for a pay rise at work, or feel like you’ll never be able to save enough for your future.

As with many beliefs we have, we often aren’t even aware that they are there. It’s only when we start to question our results and start to look back at what we have done to generate these results that beliefs start to raise their heads. Beliefs are the Why in our money stories.

Start at the end, look at your results, where are you now?

Here’s an example from a client I worked with.  He was up to his eyeballs in debt.  Then ask what did you do to get to this point?  He had no plan, just spent whatever he wanted to, when he wanted to, whether he could afford it or not. The next question is to work out what the underlying beliefs are that led to this behaviour?  There were several, but the key ones were, I can generate money easily.  I deserve to have a good life.  No-one is going to tell me what to do (this one applied to other areas of life as well).

There are steps you can take to shift your mindset and start developing a more positive relationship with money. The key is to challenge these beliefs. Ask yourself: Do you truly believe these things, or have these ideas been passed down from family or friends, and maybe they don’t serve you anymore?

If you realise that some beliefs need to be updated or be more helpful to you, it’s time to look for evidence that contradicts them. Think about people you know who are financially well-off and seem to have a good relationship with money. Are they happy? Do they take responsibility for their finances? Do they have plan?

Consider what it would feel like to be more financially secure than you are right now. Does the thought excite you or make you uneasy? Challenging your beliefs is the first step towards creating a change.

Understanding your relationship with money is crucial. You need to like money and develop healthy behaviours around it to achieve financial security and reach your full potential.

Ultimately, liking money isn’t about greed or materialism but valuing yourself and your future. It’s about recognising money’s role in your life and how it can help you live the life you want. So, give yourself permission to like money – you might be surprised at the positive changes that follow.