Wanna play?

Whether it is this time of year when we are all so busy getting ‘ready for the holidays”, or any other time we always seem to have so much to do. Maybe it’s finishing a project or task at work or organising the family and running round like a headless chook trying to fit everything in your day.  This is a timely reminder to listen to our own inner child.

This story was relayed to me by a client in one of our sessions.  This is how she told it to me.

“Grandma, you Wanna Play?”

It’s 10am on a Tuesday morning and our three-year-old granddaughter had come into my office with an irresistible smile and asks me if I wanna play.  Without any hesitation, I stopped what I was doing, and we go and play – even though I had a ‘to do’ list as long as my arm and strictly speaking this was ‘office time’.

Sometimes our play was building something with blocks, other times we draw pictures and on other occasions we have wrapped soft toys in tea towels and put them to bed because they are sick.

I would go back to my office sometime later with a glowing smile on my face, feeling quite relaxed and ready to tackle the ‘to do’ list again.  It was Grandad’s turn to play….

None of this play involved money, it was all about time

It was about prioritising her time and making the most of having her grandchildren around, and letting her own inner child come out to play as well.

This really got me thinking about play, not just with our children or grandchildren, our partners but ourselves as well.

When was the last time you put down whatever it was you were doing and just played? When was the last time you rewarded your own inner child by just doing something silly or fun just for you?

There is always something on the ‘to do list’, whether it is work that keeps us away from home for most of the day, the chores at the weekend or the things we ‘should’ be doing.

I was listening to John Gottman from the Gottman Institute, he remarked that when couple’s relationships are under stress, the first thing that goes is the fun.  Doing fun things together; in other words, play.

When we are under financial stress the first thing that tends to go are the things that help us wind down and relax and enjoy each other’s company; in other words, play.

When we are time poor, again, it is those fun activities that we struggle to make the time for.  We never quite get there because we are too busy or just too tired trying to fit everything in.

Here’s a challenge for you

Write down a list of all the fun things you like to do, for yourself, as a couple and as a family.

Have a look at that list and then rank them from the least expensive (no financial cost), to the most expensive.  Then ask yourself, how can you do more of the least expensive?

“I don’t have time” I hear you say, so here comes the next challenge.

Have a look at how you spend your money.  Find out how you can be smarter and reallocate some of that spending so you can spend money to buy time.  Then use that time to play.

Even as adults, play is really important.  It keeps our inner child happy; it recharges and de-stresses us. It helps us achieve our goals. And it’s the one thing we don’t do enough of.

Here’s my last challenge

Stop what you are doing right now and take five minutes to talk to your partner or your family.  Then, in big bold letters, book a play date in your calendar.  Make it inexpensive, make it fun and above all, make it non-negotiable.